Music in the Womb

This is my 38th week in my mother’s womb. I am too excited to see the outer world… to experience the first breath….to feel the fresh air….. to see the world around….

Mom is also excited but she is frightened too….a typical delirium… she says that I have started moving tempestuously….. she can feel my hiccups too…. I am practicing breathing and blinking 😉

My organs are fully developed now and the skin has started turning pink. My toenails and fingernails have grown to the tips of toes and fingers and my muscles are getting stronger too… Mom is feeling extremely uncomfortable and clumsier and is hurriedly packing her bags for the week long hospital detainment….

I am getting ready too… preparing to bid adieu to my 38 week old shelter… to become free from the armour…. but suddenly something started perturbing me…. i am going to miss this place…. I am going to miss the warmth of this adorable abode…. I am going to miss the lovely music vibrating inside…..reverberated by mom’s unending love for the unseen piece of her own bod…..

I want to cry out aloud…. begging her to keep me inside…. to bask in the warmth of her womb and to relish the aeonian music……

 

Nice quotes

“I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry. And I know you do the same things too, So we’re really not that different, me and you.”

“And if it all falls apart, I will know deep in my heart, the only dream that mattered had come true. In this life, I was loved by you.”

by Colin Raye

“I must learn to love the fool in me the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries”

by Theodore Isaac Rubin

“I miss you when something really good happens, because you are the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you are the one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry because i know that you are the one that makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear. I miss you all the time, but I miss you most when i lay awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with eachother;for those were some of the best times of my life.”

“Love is when you shed a tear and still want him, it’s when he ignores you and you still love him, it’s when he loves another girl but you still smile and say I’m happy for you, when all you really do is cry.”

 

Nine minutes

I felt like in heaven, when you were near me,
your hand over mine and legs across mine….
I took you in my arms and you never said no,
you gave me your lips and I kissed it with love….
I held your hips and pulled you towards me,
I felt your heart beats beating against mine,
I felt the warmth of your breath and
your breast never tried to be free from me….
The taste of your ears became mine,
your hair tangled with my beard and chest….
and it seemed you were counting my heart beats….
It was not long when that moment came,
with a heavenly jerk I was deep inside you……
measuring the unfathomable depth of your juciy inside..
and before I could say I love you,
it was all over and I was resting
on your beautiful self
counting your innumerable sighs……..!!!!!!

 

As we grow up

I was browsing through some of the e-cards in the net and I bumped upon this one…..It was a colourful card with lots of floral designs. But it was the words that struck a chord somewhere in my mind…. Here it is… just for you……..enjoy!!!!
 
“As we grow up, we learn that even the one person who wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it’s harder every time. You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You’ll fight with your best friend. You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did. You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back. Don’t be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin…..”

 

A simple story

There is lot to it than you merely see,
may be I am awry the way I foresee..
dwelling in the past I seemed to be done,
but today I opine, it was all fun..

Years have gone by, dallying around,
now its time to amass my ground..
hatful to learn, a lot to acquire,
to draw the advent days more insure..

The story is simple, the story is bare,
it all reckons on how we fare..
enounce a decree, one of our own,
and relish our life, sans fawn..!!!

 

Packets of love .. sent from Above

I was born in a middle class family. Both my parents were government employees and being the youngest child of the family I grew up as a spoiled brat. I was sent to the best school in the locality though it burnt my dad’s pocket to a great extent. But he was so keen that I get the best education available. Though late, most of my wishes were granted and I was brought up in the best possible way.

My childhood days were mostly spent with my mother and my elder sister. Dad, being an Army Officer, was posted in different regions of this vast country and he used to come home on a one month vacation, once every year. I dont know whether I enjoyed his presence during those visits except for the gifts that he used to bring (once he even gifted me a Nike sports shoe which I used to wear with pride because it was a rare thing in my locality). I was always worried about his yearly visits because I thought it as a threat to my freedom. It was during the early years of my teenage that he retired from service and came home permanently and I presumed it as the end of my independence.

Dad and mom tried to groom me as a responsible and independent individual. I was asked to travel alone to different places so that I will learn from my experiences, solve problems on my own and be successful with out much help. I adhered to their policies till I finished my schooling and left for higher studies.

During my fortnightly visits, I started acting like a guest in my own home. I started to shy away from responsibilities and my interaction with my parents started decreasing. The time at home was spent either watching TV or browsing the net. They complained but I turned a deaf ear to their cries. Later on when I got a job and shifted to cochin, the same scenario continued. I wished to be the way they wanted me to be but I always failed to live up to their expectations.

Now at 26, my mindset has completely undergone a transformation….. I sincerely want to live for them. I want to give them all the happiness in the world. I realize that with out them it would be very hard for me to exist. I am afraid to think about a time when they are no longer there and I am alone……

One day when I woke up, I saw my dad standing inside my room. He was opening my cupboard and keeping something inside. I got annoyed and my first instinct was to shout at him. But I cut short my temper and gently asked him what he was up to. He said that he has kept his insurance papers inside my cupboard and that I may never know when it may come handy. Without much explanation, he walked out of my room and the salty liquid blinded my vision……….

I wish I could start my life all over again….. just to love them to the fullest and to make them happy just the way they fulfilled my life……….!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Let me explain…..

I met with thorough criticism from my friends, who are regular readers of my blog, that I always limn the darker and dourer side of life….that I always dealt with lost emotions, love, death, pain, bawlings, wounds and so on and so forth….. but I would like to pledge that this was not deliberate….its just the ruminations on the past commingled with downright imagination… and the later forms the bulk part………

Let me try to pen down some positive mentations and some happy musings which will depict me as a cocksure material…..

But I still dont know why…… when I put the pen on paper it always turns out to be my “wounded whisperings”

 

Angel of my dreams

This is an impressive poem. I liked the lines so much that I thought of sharing it with you……

Angel of my dreams

Krishna Kumar

Once I had a dream, and an angel came through
All I could see, appeared so real, so true
She held my hands and took me around
I was lost, I was bound

I could feel her and so could I touch
She made me feel so good, so could she comfort
Holding hands on the beach
Talking under the moon whole night
Kissing and holding each other tight

Her voice would mesmerize
her words would summarize
the world of love, the horizon of togetherness
and I thought, this world would never capsize

Then there was a jolt and I woke up
I stretched my hands, searched and tried
she was not there and I was alone
gone was the dream and so was she

I could not accept I could not realize
She was gone and so was the dream
I cried and so did I scream
I wanted her, I wanted the dream
But thats not the fate, thats not destiny

For no matter the distance
Or the obstacles for instance
I will always belong to her
For we are meant for each other
not in reality, but at least in our Dreams

Then I think this is not the last time I am sleeping
This is not the last time I am dreaming
I will still sleep, I will still dream
I will still love, I will still gleam
No matter I loose, No matter I gain
I want to sleep & want to dream again

 

Paulo Coelho

“whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it’s because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It’s your mission on earth.” ….”And when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to acheive it.”

Paulo Coelho

 

“mavelikara Ravivaar durbaar [m-R-d]”

Weekend is here….. I am in a festive mood… time to get back home after an irksome week….

The most important programme during my usual weekend is the Mavelikara* Ravivaar Durbaar. It started as a gathering of friends on a Sunday evening and then got extended to Saturday evenings as well. Now we call it “Durbaar” instead of “Ravivaar Durbaar”. The below passage will give you a detailed explanation about our Durbaar.
“mavelikara Ravivaar durbaar [m-R-d] is a coLLaboration of paLs who’ve grown up together, studied 2gether, Lived 2gether, Loved together & even had their 1st peg ‘n puff together!

Itz a Weekend Fiesta ceLebrated with aLL its vigour & pomp & ecstasy! Friends meet over a bottLe of beer or 2 & share their experiences, sing an oLd nostaLgic song; once sung by/to their loved one, discuss trivias, probLems, movies, Love, marriage, sex, music, profession, dreams, aspirations, family & anything & everything under the sun!

We dedicate this community to aLL those who made our lives miserabLe, who broke our hearts, who turned a deaf ear to our laments & who pLayed with our seLf respects…We wish them aLL success & luck in their future endeavours & let ’em know that even when our life’s a heLL & whatever bad happens durbarians wiLL be together…. 4ever!

Remember… Shit Happens! But the butt cheeks get closer after all that!

Love Live mavelikara Ravivaar durbaar!”

Now, let me introduce you to the members of the durbaar:

The Cast:

Anish Nambothil: My childhood friend born juz ten days after me…. a tall libran and a hard core Mammootty fan (well…in this case he is the odd one out in the durbaar). His favourite food is “karikku” (tender coconut), omlette and idli. Working as Channel Sales Manager for Idea in Kollam District.

Aakaash Nair aka Vishnu: My school mate and a very good friend. He stands out in any crowd bcoz of his long hair and pony tail. A creative being, struggling to make his mark in the film industry. A good writer and a visualizer and we all are looking forward for his success in the unpredictable industry.

Manish Pillai aka Tittu: My nephew (rather a bro) and a new found friend. He was the biggest discovery for me in my family. Born and brought up in Mumbai but settled in Cochin due to “personal” reasons. He is my partner in crime. Working as Operations Manager, ICICI Lombard, Cochin.

Adv. Rajesh Kaimal: My neighbour, elder brother, friend and a supporting hand. An Advocate by profession,but working in Bajaj Alliance, Thiruvananthapuram. He is a joy to be with and his situational comedies invokes comic currents in the Durbaar. His family consists of his wife, Aathira chechi and their naughty twins- Bhadra and Rishi, who are celebrating their first birthday this month.

Jayakrishna aka Jithin: He is Anish’s cousin brother,my neighbour and friend too. He has just finished his graduation and currently doing Cisco networking certifications. Youngest in the group but never short of words. Ready to do anything at the word go. He is the opening pace bowler in our local cricket team.

Anish Krishnan: He is Anish Nambothil’s class mate and a good friend of mine. He is a chatter box and likes to talk about anything and everything under the sky….and he has got the knowledge too. He is working in a software firm in Cochin.

Guest Appearances:

Dr. Kurian Ninan: My schoool mate and a good friend. He is a Doctor by profession and currently in Mangalore doing his PG. He is no longer single… got engaged very recently.

Arvind: My neighbour and team mate in our local cricket team. Currently in Bangalore giving final touches to his MBA.

Vineeth Unnithan: A friend of mine and a pinch hitter in our cricket team. A hard core Lalettan fan and does not miss to watch the first show of any of his movies. Currently in the process of clearing his MBA exams.

Arun aka Jayan aka haskey: A childhood friend and a neighbour too. He is a master of all trades. A hard core computer professional and a kind hearted business man (an extinct species nowadays). Polite and always to the point. A peerless addition to the durbaar.

George Thomas: Mumbai ka daan…… he is my school mate and a good friend. Now in mumbai hopping jobs every now and then. He is a marketing professional in the hotel industry.

Gokul Pillai aka Sankaran: He is Manish’s younger bro and my nephew. Makes yearly visits to Kerala and takes part in the Durbaar. Working in Deutsche bank, Mumbai.

Krishna Kumar Varrier aka Kris aka KK: My colleague and a very good friend. He has been to Durbaar on one of his visits to my home. He is an encyclopedia of Hindi songs and emotes those songs really well. He is working as Asst Manager (HR) in Assyst International, Cochin.

Supporting cast:

Santhosh: An elephant fanatic and the all in all of Kottakkal Arya Vaidya sala, Mavelikara.

Sathish Nambothil aka Kochumon: Anish’s elder brother and a friend of mine. He runs his own paper mart and book store in Mavelikara.

Monayi: He is a chatterbox and adds masala to the topics that he usually takes up. Now in UAE.

Director:

Sandpiper

Associate Directors:

Wills Navy Cut, Gold Flake, Kings

Assistant Directors:

Kurkure, Lays, Idli and scrambbled egg from “swayambhu” thattu kada, opener, lighter and match box

Location:

Terrace of DB building overlooking KSRTC bus stand and the pond ‘”Valiya kulam” that has some historical importance.

Time for me to go……… all you guys are most welcome to the Durbaar…..

Cheers………..!!!!!!